I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize