It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
