She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i can't believe i had my finger in that
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
