Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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