8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
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I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
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After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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