I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize