So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
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Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
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I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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