Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
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