plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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