so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
