I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
