Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
