i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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