when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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