no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
