Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
