Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
and you said cock pushups were impossible
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
