I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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