But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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