And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
