you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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