Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.

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(440): View more from Ohio

he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.

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(512): View more from Texas

honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party

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(804): View more from Virginia

Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.

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(850): View more from Florida

You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.

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