you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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