did you get engaged???
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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