I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
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