dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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