That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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