she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
