I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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