I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
