Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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