ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
