Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
