I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
