K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
