But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I party with great urgency now.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
