hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again