Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
