Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.