Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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