Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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