she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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