I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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