Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I look better un-naked...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize