the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
