Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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