i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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