U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
