why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
