just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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