She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
