im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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