Whod you bang
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
