he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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