how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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