He is an equal opportunity slut.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
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Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
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She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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