I must be too annoying 4 u.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
