Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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