I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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