She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
