So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
