i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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