ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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