Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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