I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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