K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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