i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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