Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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